The other evening I was driving home from my sister’s house with Tyler in the backseat. The windows were rolled down. It was a windy night and you could see the clouds flying past the full moon. “Mom, look, the moon is flying!” Tyler yelled from the backseat. “No, buddy,” I replied, “The moon doesn’t move. The earth rotates……” I stopped. I thought about it. I was stumped. I looked in the rearview mirror praying that Tyler had forgotten the topic and moved on to one of his many other daily observations. He had not. He was waiting for my answer. I panicked and quickly scanned my brain for a grade school pneumonic that would help explain the basics of astronomy to my 4 year old (and myself for that matter). My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas! No, no, no, that was to remember the names and orders of the planets. Shoot. Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can’t Handle!!! No, no NO! I learned that one in physical therapy school to remember the names and order of the carpal bones in the hand. I have a Masters Of Science in Physical Therapy yet I cannot remember if the earth rotates around the moon or if the moon is also rotating. (For the record, the moon orbits the earth and the moon and earth system also orbit the sun as a pair….ah, yes, of course.)
It’s like the time we were at the zoo and approached the fenced off area of a vaguely familiar looking UGLY animal with a long snout like the hose of a vacuum. “Ewwww, Mom, what’s this guy called?” Tyler yelled out in front of at least 5 other families. All eyes on me. Think, think, think, Carrie…you know this! My eyes darted from side to side like a first grader cheating on a spelling test as I scanned the fence for one of those plaques that listed the name and species of the animal as well as a little blurb about their purpose on this planet (other than to make parents look dumb in front of their toddlers). I was thinking anteater and contemplated using the “phone a friend” lifeline when a five year old shoved in front of us and yelled, “Hey, Mom, look it’s an aardvark!” Saved by the brat whose parents were probably zoo keepers I told myself in consolation.
On the last day of preschool Tyler came home with a sunflower seedling in a Dixie cup with instructions that, as a member of the Sunflower Club, he was to plant the seedling and take pictures of it growing throughout the summer and bring them back to school in the fall. (For my true feelings on plants see the Happy Earth Day blog entry). I do not own any gardening equipment so my aunt was kind enough to come over a few days later with a shovel and trowel (apparently I also need to take Gardening 101 as I could not tell you what a trowel is) some potting soil and Miracle Grow and then told me it truly would be a miracle if the plant grew as its long stem was now lying at a right angle to the dirt having lost the support of the Dixie cup. “Mom, how will it grow?” Tyler asked. “We will water it and it will get bigger,” I said. “But doesn’t it need the sun to grow?” he asked. Dammit. Apparently they had advanced the curriculum since I had attended preschool some 30 odd years ago. The words chlorophyll and photosynthesis spring to mind but arranging them in an intelligent statement is out of the question. “That’s a good question, buddy. Why don’t you look it up and get back to me.” I remember all the times that someone told me that…my parents, my teachers, my physical therapy clinical instructors. Could it be that they, too, didn’t know the answer and were trying to “save face” like I am right now?
School may be out for millions of kids this week but as a parent of a curious toddler, I am afraid I will never be done learning or teaching. However, I take some solace in the fact that I can simply type my questions into the Google search engine instead of getting windburn from flipping through the pages of the Encylopedia Britanica like my parents would!
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