Sleeping Beauty vs the Alien

The other day, in a desperate attempt to pull Tyler away from his computer video games and to tear Maddy away from yet another episode of Scooby Doo, I offered to play make-believe with the kids downstairs in the basement during Gabe’s afternoon nap.  These days Gabe (14 months) is ALL OVER.  He’s also still in the 95^th percentile for height so he seems to reach things that I never had to worry about with the other kids.  His tiny fingers can reach dangerously close to the stovetop burners, he pulls sharp objects like the meat shears and the knives from the top of the counter, and he manages to ruin Lego towers and bring Polly Pockets crashing to the ground with a single bound.  I spend most of his waking hours tempting him away from the other kids’ toys and pulling all sorts of hazards from his grip (and sometimes his mouth).

We traipsed down to the basement and I plopped on the ground equidistant from Maddy’s life size dollhouse and Tyler’s collection of dump trucks, garbage trucks, diggers and cranes.  The kids like to play a game called “Mommy’s sitting closer to me” that usually ends up with hurt feelings, name calling, and me practically getting out a tape measure to assure each child that I am truly in the middle.  Maddy pulled the tub of her princess figures close to the dollhouse and I grabbed Snow White and in my sweetest voice said, “Excuse me, Miss, but I’m so tired….do you have a bed in this house I could lay down in?”  Maddy’s face lit up as she nodded and helped Snow White to the bedroom on the second floor.  Our make believe was interrupted by Tyler, “MA-aaaaam” (When did Mom become a 2 syllable word?!) you’re not playing Bad Guys with me!” I quickly turned towards his makeshift battlefield, grabbed a muscular looking WWF figure and in my deepest voice said, “I am here to beat you up!” as I sent his Green Lantern figure sailing into the back of the garbage truck, making him giggle.  “Mommy?”  came Madelyn’s squeaky voice.  “Cinderella wants to take a bath.” 

And so I played with them for the next 10 minutes interchanging between my princess voice and bad guy voice……….and then it hit me.  I’m not much of a feminist but what message was I teaching my daughter when only the pretty princesses visited her dollhouse and they had perfect, sweet little voices (thanks to my wonderful acting ability) and their biggest dilemmas were needing a nap or a bath when 2 feet over I was using Tyler’s male figures to wage battles and protect civilization from doom. 

So I grabbed Sleeping Beauty and used her head to strike the alien figure from Tyler’s hands.  “Don’t do that with my dolly!” Maddy screamed in disapproval and Tyler was too stunned to say anything.  In my still-feminine but much tougher voice I told the alien that even though I was a girl, I was tough and would not accept his bad behavior.  As the alien came back towards Sleeping Beauty in retaliation and began pummeling her in the face I had second thoughts about my lesson.  I wasn’t trying to promote violence against women, but I wanted it to be clear that women can be strong, level-headed creatures that stick up for themselves against wrongdoing. 

There’s a saying: Motherhood is not for sissies.  Five and a half years and three kids later I could not agree more.  The days I brought each of my children into this world were the strongest days of my life.  The nights I listened to them crying their tiny hearts out on the bedside monitor because we were trying to get them to sleep through the night or give up their binkies were some of the weakest nights of my life.  Hearing them say “mama” for the first time, and later “I love you” and Tyler’s new favorite, “I love you in my heart” nearly brought me to my knees.  Visiting the emergency room with my 10 day old daughter who had trouble breathing REALLY brought me to my knees.  Any mother who has actually had to deal with real illness or disease deserves the medal of bravery in my book.  Watching my 2 older kids walk arm and arm down the hall of their preschool was a heart stopper.  Watching my last baby take his first steps was a mixture of pure bliss and utter sadness. 

Motherhood is not for sissies.  So I picked Sleeping Beauty up off the carpet and punched the alien so hard I sent him sailing out of Tyler’s hand and across the room.  Then I marched her over to the dollhouse where I said sweetly, “I sure am tired after beating up that bad guy, do you have a bed I could lay down in?”  After all, even strong women need a nap once in a while.

Happy Mother’s Day!

And congratulations to Stacie C, the winner of my latest blog giveaway the Toy Sitter (connect one end to the stroller and the other to a favorite toy and no more lost or dirty toys!)

Next Prenatal Pilates Class in Hinsdale:  Wednesdays 7-8:30 PM starting May 23^rd (2 spots left)

Next Prenatal Pilates Class in Naperville:  Mondays 7:30-9 PM starting June 11^th (FULL with waiting list)

Next Postnatal Pilates in Naperville:  Tuesdays 7:30-9 PM starting June 12^th (4 spots left)

Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned From My Messy House

I open my make-up drawer to apply a disguise over my desperately -lacking- sleep face only to discover an open, half finished dum dum that had been abandoned by my daughter (I’m guessing) once she became distracted by my lipstick and mascara and eye shadows.  Next I scoot over to my jewelry organizer but the necklace that matched today’s outfit was tangled up with 3 pairs of earrings and a plastic rosary I got for my First Communion that I couldn’t bear to part with.  Skip it. 

Down in the kitchen I attempt to make tonight’s dinner and realize for the hundredth time that the spice rack I received from our wedding registry almost 10 years ago is simply taking up space (who uses Marjoram anyway?) so into the garbage it goes.  Now to make the kids’ lunches for daycare, so my head and most of my upper half disappear into the Tupperware cabinet while I search for a matching lid. 

Where do these lids go?!  I picture them meeting up with the missing socks from the laundry at a singles bar where they laugh themselves silly at the poor humans unsuccessfully trying to find their counterparts.  My house is messy.  Not filthy, not hoarder-style, but messy.  So I slowly tackle one project at a time.  I’m embarrassed to admit that most of my make-up was purchased at a girls’ night out trip almost one year ago.  I have flashbacks from an Oprah episode I watched once where a microscope revealed tiny micro-organisms living in people’s old mascaras and what not.  I dumped it all in the garbage (including the dum dum).  I should preface that statement by saying that my make-up can all be bought at Walgreens (not the Mac counter at Macy’s).  Underneath my make-up tray I find an old post-it from my husband reminding me that he loves me (he hid a few of these around the house a few years back when he left for a week long fishing trip to Canada).  Who cares about a messy make-up drawer when you are lucky enough to have a husband who REALLY loves you (whether you’re wearing make-up or not!) 

On to the jewelry box.  Surprisingly this project took less than an hour and deep in the drawers I found my 6 week ultrasound from Madelyn, my second-born.  It was probably her tiny fingers that tangled most of my jewelry up anyway but what a miracle it is to realize that this tiny “blip” on the ultrasound is now a tumbling toddler with a feisty personality and a passion for make-up and jewelry and shoes! 

My next step is the kitchen trash where I sadly gaze at the glass jars from the spices and the empty lazy-Susan spinning spice rack.  A light bulb goes off in my brain (it’s a 60 watt bulb but at least there are some synapses firing up there still!)  I wash each glass jar and lid and scrub any remnants of the trash off of the rack.  Then I fill each jar with a craft supply: some get filled with sticky eyeballs, others with pom pons and foam stickers, and still others with glitter and voila, my very own project organizer. 

And that’s when I realize that sometimes, things just need to be re-invented.  Like the women or men who move from the working world to the stay-at-home world when their children are born.  Or the stay-at-home moms and dads who must return to work to help financially support their families.  Or the empty-nesters who no longer have their children to define them.  Their “old” lives don’t need to be thrown away, just dusted off and visualized with a new spin.  My house may not be as clean as it was before I had 3 children, or 2 dogs, or this job, or my Pilates business but now the mess says to me, “Yes you are busy but you value time spent with your loved ones more than a dust-free, clutter-free abode.”  You may be wondering what lesson I learned from the Tupperware cabinet.  Nothing….I hate that cabinet and so I will wave the white flag and submit to the realization that it will always be messy no matter how many times I re-organize it!

P.S. I have 2 spots left in my next Prenatal Pilates class in Naperville starting Saturday, April 14^th from 9-10:30 AM.  I also have several spots left in my new Hinsdale Prenatal Pilates class.  If you or someone you know may be interested, please check out the respective websites (www.pilatesbycarrie.com and www.prenataluniversity.com )

P.P.S.  I have a few spaces left in my next Postnatal Pilates class starting Monday, April 16^th from 7:30-9 PM.  Visit www.pilatesbycarrie.com for more info.

These classes make unique Baby Shower gifts and Mother’s Day gift ideas!!!

Computer Dating with my 5 Year Old (it's not what it sounds like!)

My 5 year old, Tyler, asked to go on a date with me this weekend.  I could tell he was craving some one-on-one time with Mom.  “Of course,” I replied as I walked away from him in the family room and into the laundry room.  “What do you want to do?”  I yelled out to him as I loaded the clothes from the overstuffed washer into the dryer, threw in a few bounce sheets and slammed the door.  I heard his voice, muffled by the dryer, but couldn’t make out the words as I started the washer for another load of Sunday laundry.  I re-appeared in the family room where at least 4 more piles of dirty laundry were waiting to be thrown in before deciding on the whites—might as well get the annoying sock matching out of the way early on.  “We could go to the movies,” I offered, “Or hit the train table at Barnes and Noble?”  Just then my cell phone beeped letting me know I had a text message.  I dropped the pile of dirty clothes and went up into the kitchen to check my messages.  Tyler was muttering something but in all honesty I had tuned him out while my thumbs returned the text from my sister.  “What was that, buddy?”  I replied only half listening.  “I was thinking,” he said, “that you could just watch me play some games on the computer and then I could tell you some stories.”  Screech.  I stopped in my tracks.  He wasn’t just craving time with me, he was craving time with me without distractions. 

It was like a slap on the wrist for me.  I did a quick mental inventory of my time with my children.  I did fun things with them.  I did art projects with Maddy, or at least I worked on them for a few minutes until she was involved enough with her own project that I could sneak away to unload the dishwasher and prepare dinner while occasionally exclaiming over her shoulder, “Wow, Maddy, you’re really staying in the lines,” or “That princess with the green hair is just beautiful.”  I tickle Gabe while I dust the living room and play hide and seek with him….well I disappear from room to room picking up toys while he crawls to “seek” me.  Doesn’t this count?  I play board games with Tyler while stealing glances at my email messages and returning texts without missing a beat, “Darnit, I lost again!” 

But Tyler’s comment made me realize that I wasn’t fooling him.  He knew I was only giving him part of my attention most of the time.  Isn’t that what multi-tasking is all about, though?  Isn’t it a basic survival skill as a working mother of three children?  Sure I could give my undivided attention to my kids all day long but we would never eat, we would all be wearing dirty clothes, my husband would divorce me and the house would fall down around us.  Or I could prepare nothing but gourmet, organic dishes at every meal but I would never have time to do all the dishes from those meals, we would still be wearing dirty clothes, my husband would still divorce me and the house would still fall down around us.  See what I mean?  But Tyler’s request made me realize that I could afford to “unplug” for at least an hour. 

So when my husband took Maddy and Gabe food shopping earlier today (Hands off, Ladies!  He’s all mine!) I turned off my cell phone and the TV as Tyler guided me to the dining room where he had positioned a chair right next to his at the laptop.  I glanced at the time in the lower right corner of the screen…12:45 PM.  As Cartoon Network was loading I glanced into the kitchen and noticed the dishwasher was only half emptied and it took all the restraint in my body not to excuse myself with promises that “I’ll be right back,” while I made good use of the slow internet loading time to finish the dishes.  Instead, Tyler filled the silence with explanations of his favorite games which included Level Up, Project Exonaut, and Looney Tunes complete with hand gestures and sound effects (I swear little boys are born with a whole arsenal of useful gun noises and explosion imitations).  Finally the game loaded, it was 12:48 but whose keeping track?  Over the next several minutes I watched him select his warrior and weapon before killing a dozen crazy monkeys.  My mind wandered from the list of things I needed to accomplish today to how to find ratings online about the Cartoon Network games that were appropriate for 5 year olds but by 12:51 I had accepted the fact that I was going to be sitting there for a long time.  I asked Tyler how he learned to play these games and was amazed to watch his fingers working the keys and space bar and mouse with such agility.  I cheered when he blew up the bad guys and high-fived him when his rocket launcher connected with an evil-looking monster (is this appropriate?)  I did not check my email, or text, or cook, or do laundry.  And when the screen went blank while he was loading a new game, I saw his reflection in the laptop.  His eyes were sparkly with excitement and his face was plastered with a beaming ear-to-ear, toothy grin!  I’d be willing to give up a clean house and good food any day for a lifetime of those smiles.

P.S. Congratulations Kelly D, you are the winner of the Mommy Hook! 

You'll be totally hooked on this stroller hanger. Or, at least, all your crucial items will be! Built to last, lightweight and versatile, this hanger fits virtually all stroller handles, is made from durable, heavy-duty aluminum, and has a rubber grip to keep it from sliding. The Mommy Hook® can be used on a stroller or shopping cart to hold diaper bags, shopping bags, camera bags, groceries, toys, purses, clothes, and much more. Plus, there's a baby hook for smaller items.  Can also be used to carry multiple bags in from the trunk of your car (watch your body mechanics, girls!) or to have your toddler hold on to in busy parking lots.   

P.P.S.  If you would like to be entered into future drawings don't forget to subscribe to this blog!  Every so often I use the site random.org to randomly select a number that corresponds with each subscriber.

P.P.P.S. If you know anyone who may be interested in taking my next Prenatal or Postnatal Pilates class please refer them to my website at http://www.pilatesbycarrie.com/.  I am now teaching in Hinsdale, IL as well an that class schedule can be viewed at http://www.prenataluniveristy.com/.  Thanks!

I've Been Hit......By Cupid's Arrow!

I love Valentine’s Day.  It’s an oasis in the middle of the long stretch from winter break to spring break and this year I decided we would make home-made Valentine’s Day cards for the kids to bring to their preschool party to give us something fun to do and save money.  By us I mean me because the kids lost interest after 5 minutes and by to save money I mean spend so much more because the Amazon order of 50 glowsticks didn’t make it here in time so I had to run out to purchase them, but I digress.  They turned out super cute!

As for my husband and I, we celebrated one or two of these Hallmark Holidays early in our “courting” years before we agreed to just get each other cards and for the last several years we have done nothing, nada, zip, zilch.  It’s a running joke that I pretend I purchased him a thoughtful gift just to see the look of panic settle across his face before I admit that, alas, like every year I haven’t gotten him anything for Valentine’s Day.  But then I got to thinking about how boring we’ve become.  A pair of real duds!  So this year, as I was wandering the aisles of my favorite store, Barnes and Noble, I decided to purchase a gift for us both for Valentine’s Day.  They were 100-item quiz books entitled “Do You Know Your Husband?” and “Do You Know Your Wife?”  At first I thought the questions were going to be corny like what’s your husband’s favorite color or who is his best friend?  My curiosity was peeked when I read some of the questions:

He’s walking, in no particular hurry.  Across the street, he sees a crowd and two police cruisers with lights flashing.  Does he:

                ___Cross over to see what’s happening?

                ___Keep walking, glancing back over his shoulder?

                ___Ignore the whole incident?

Interesting.  I would go with the second option, but after nearly 10 years of marriage, I’m surprised that I don’t immediately know the answer.  I read on:

He pulls into a metered parking space.  There are eight minutes remaining on the meter.  He’s planning a ten-minute errand.  What does he do?

                ___Put in a coin to be safe

                ___Put in no money and try to rush through the errand

                ___Put in no money and not worry about it

I’m intrigued.  I guess the third option but again….it’s just a guess.  Excitedly I purchased the books and we made plans to fill them out together last night because I will be working late tonight.  I gathered the pens and quiz books and whipped cream (let’s keep it PG here folks—it was for our hot cocoa!)

and tiptoe into our room where I found……………………my sleeping husband.  He looked so peaceful I just couldn’t bear to wake him. 

I was momentarily disappointed but my deep gratitude for this man, the father of my three precious children, quickly extinguished any disappointment.  He recently took a job in Beloit, Wisconsin and has been waking up every morning at 5 AM to make the 1 hour and 35 minute commute in to work.  We contemplated moving to lessen his commute but after some deliberation and his insistence that the long drive doesn’t bother him, we decided to stay put.  I will be eternally grateful to him for that decision because I depend so much on the support system I have here to help me with our kids.  This morning, nearly 10 years into our marriage, I am overwhelmed by my love for my husband.  And that’s why I love Valentine’s Day!

P.S. The next session of Prenatal Pilates starts Monday, Feb 20^th from 7:30-9PM.  Visit www.pilatesbycarrie.com for more info or to reserve a space.  These classes make GREAT gifts, too!  Speaking of gifts, stay tuned for a give-away in the next few weeks (and no, it's not a package of 50 glowsticks!)

Happy New Year!

You know you're old when your kids outlast you on New Year's Eve (and your oldest is 5 years old)!!!
Many blessings to you in 2012!



The Day After Christmas

It’s the day after Christmas and 93.9 the “Holiday” Lite is now just Lite FM and I’m kinda sad about it.

It’s the day after Christmas and my house is a wreck.  We were gone from 11 AM until 9 PM on Christmas day and the living room floor is barely visible beneath the half-opened toys, and remnants of wrapping paper, and empty cardboard boxes. 

It’s the day after Christmas and I would LOVE to pay someone, anyone, to spend the day at my house putting together all the Christmas toys.  Nowadays you need an engineering degree from Stanford just to disassemble toys from their packages.  First you need some garden shears or meat cleavers to cut through the plastic, then there’s those metal twist-ties or the plastic turny things to free the toy.  Half the toys require assembly or batteries or another step before they’re even ready to be played with and by then the toddler has already lost interest and is shoving another toy in your face to put together.  We already visited the local ACE Hardware for a toy that was mysteriously missing all 17 screws.  Have you ever been to the screw aisle?  There are a million choices.  Flat head or round head, Phillips or straight, wood screws or metal screws, ¼ inch or 5 and 3/8 inch.  I was hoping to find a screw that was labeled Missing Screw for the Rapunzel Magical Talking Vanity but no luck.

It’s the day after Christmas but it’s also the day before my oldest son turns 5 years old.  After work I raced off to Party City for a bouquet of Scooby Doo balloons and then directly to Toys R Us before they closed to exchange one of the birthday presents I bought him that he received as a gift from someone else at yesterday’s Christmas party.  I always get sentimental around the kid’s birthdays.  I imagine what I was doing at this exact moment 5 years ago.  I was watching a movie with my husband as I timed my contractions that were exactly 7 minutes apart.  The house was quiet.  There was no mess from Christmas packages torn open in excitement (after all it was just my husband and I).  There were no toys to put together or directions and manuals to read.  There were no trips to the store for screws or batteries.  There were no squeals of delight when you switched the toy to “on” and the Magical Talking Vanity lit up and started talking to you.  There were no looks of amazement as a child learned that the garbage truck he had been playing with all morning actually had a lever that lifted a motorized arm to dump the wadded up toilet paper he had been using for trash right into the back of the truck!!!

It’s the day after Christmas and I’m counting my blessings.

P.S. Congratulations Amy R on winning the 6 week Pilates class (rest assured she received her gift certificate last week)!  New Prenatal and Postnatal classes are starting January 7^th.  Visit www.pilatesbycarrie.com for more information.

The Elf on the Shelf

I have trouble sleeping which is odd considering I spend a large portion of my day trying to stay awake despite my exhaustion.  When my head hits the pillow at night it’s like a signal for my brain to start spitting out all the “To Dos” that have built up throughout the day and thus begins my bedtime “dance.”

            Brain:  “Don’t forget you used the last of the Desitin and Gabe’s diaper rash is

            looking pretty angry.”

               

Me:  Covers off, bolt upright, click goes the bedside lamp being turned on, scribble

scribble goes my pen over a post-it note, click goes the lamp off, lay down, covers

back up.

Brain:  “Remember to schedule the kids’ doctor check-ups.”

Me:  “Put a cork in it, Brain.”

Brain:  “The last time you waited until the last second, you got stuck with the

appointment slot right before lunch when the doctor was way behind schedule

and the kids were STARVING………

Me:  Sigh. Covers off, click, scribble scribble, click, covers on.

Brain:  “And you’re all out of birth control pills…………..”

Me:  “Hey, I am TRYING to sleep here!”

Brain:  I just wanted to remind you about that article you read stating the cost of

raising a child from birth to 18 is $250,000.  Now multiply that by the 3 kids you already have and that’s $750,000.  NOW add in a surprise baby and that would bring the total to ONE MILLIION DOLLARS!”

Me:  “I’m up, I’m UP!!!!”  Covers off, click, scribble scribble, click, covers on.

My husband (exact quote):  “Will you turn your brain off!  I’m trying to sleep over here.”

And with  Christmas fast approaching coupled with my oldest son’s 5^th birthday two days later, my brain is working in overdrive with last minute gift ideas, and birthday prep, and Santa visits, and extra baking for parties, etc, etc, etc.  But to be honest, bolting upright in bed to satisfy my brain’s requests 200 times a night is worth it to see how excited the kids are this time of year.  There is something so magical about their belief in Santa Claus that recharges me each morning, allowing me to make it to the end of each day with left over energy for my “click, scribble scribble, click” dance. 

This year I’ve added a whole new reason to bolt out of bed at 2 AM…..The Elf on the Shelf.  Could it be that some of you have not heard of The Elf on the Shelf?  Well pull up an ice block and lend an ear (now if THAT sounds familiar it’s because it’s a direct quote from the Snowman narrator of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer which, along with Home Alone and Jim Carey’s The Grinch That Stole Christmas, are being played continuously by the kids these days).  The Elf on the Shelf is a popular new tradition that involves a little elf doll being sent by Santa himself to your house to watch over the behavior of the children in your house (genius!).  The Elf then flies back to the North Pole once the kids have fallen asleep to report to Santa what he observed that day before flying back to your house and re-locating to a new spot for the kids to find when they wake up.  Adorable.  The first thing my kids do when their eyeballs pop open is to go traipsing around the house searching for Ernest, as we have fondly named him.  Problem:  The exhausted, scatter-brained parents have to remember to hide the Elf each night from Thanksgiving to Christmas (31 nights and 31 new and exciting hiding spots!) hence the 2 AM panic.

                        Brain:  "I know you just got to sleep and all, but did you remember to hide the Elf?"

Me:  Bolt upright, click, scribble……………

Brain:  “I hate to interrupt but what if the kids wake up before you do and go looking for Ernest the Elf only to find him in the same spot as yesterday.”

Me:  “Then I will tell them there was a storm or construction on the way to the North Pole or………………………………..You’re right, you’re right, we should hide him now.” 

“Babe, wake up!”

My husband:  “Huh, what, what is it?”

Me:  “We forgot to hide Ernest.”

My husband:  “Who the hell is Ernest?!”

Me:  “Ernest the Elf!”

My husband:  He knows it’s a losing battle so he stumbles off downstairs to hide

the elf.

And when the kids wake up they squeal with delight to see Ernest hanging upside down in the shower (this one really freaked my husband out too), or acting as our tree topper or laying in the candy bowl with empty wrappers and chocolate on his face (my favorite!)

And it makes our late night charades all worth it!  Unfortunately our creative juices are starting to run dry.  Here’s how you can help.  Post a comment to this blog with your idea of where we can hide Ernest the Elf or what we can stage him doing and you will be entered in a drawing for a chance to win a 6 week Prenatal or Postnatal Pilates session in Naperville (a $130 value).  These make great last minute Christmas gifts or stocking stuffers.  New classes start the first week of January so visit www.pilatesbycarrie.com for more information.  I will email the winner this weekend and mail it out ASAP so you will have it in time for Christmas!

BTW, the winner of last week’s drawing for the Nose Frida (I have used mine all week and it is pretty amazing!) is……………..Amy C!  Amy I will send you an email in case there's more than one Amy C and Merry early Christmas to you!  It will be mailed off to you tomorrow!