The Elf on the Shelf

I have trouble sleeping which is odd considering I spend a large portion of my day trying to stay awake despite my exhaustion.  When my head hits the pillow at night it’s like a signal for my brain to start spitting out all the “To Dos” that have built up throughout the day and thus begins my bedtime “dance.”

            Brain:  “Don’t forget you used the last of the Desitin and Gabe’s diaper rash is

            looking pretty angry.”

               

Me:  Covers off, bolt upright, click goes the bedside lamp being turned on, scribble

scribble goes my pen over a post-it note, click goes the lamp off, lay down, covers

back up.

Brain:  “Remember to schedule the kids’ doctor check-ups.”

Me:  “Put a cork in it, Brain.”

Brain:  “The last time you waited until the last second, you got stuck with the

appointment slot right before lunch when the doctor was way behind schedule

and the kids were STARVING………

Me:  Sigh. Covers off, click, scribble scribble, click, covers on.

Brain:  “And you’re all out of birth control pills…………..”

Me:  “Hey, I am TRYING to sleep here!”

Brain:  I just wanted to remind you about that article you read stating the cost of

raising a child from birth to 18 is $250,000.  Now multiply that by the 3 kids you already have and that’s $750,000.  NOW add in a surprise baby and that would bring the total to ONE MILLIION DOLLARS!”

Me:  “I’m up, I’m UP!!!!”  Covers off, click, scribble scribble, click, covers on.

My husband (exact quote):  “Will you turn your brain off!  I’m trying to sleep over here.”

And with  Christmas fast approaching coupled with my oldest son’s 5^th birthday two days later, my brain is working in overdrive with last minute gift ideas, and birthday prep, and Santa visits, and extra baking for parties, etc, etc, etc.  But to be honest, bolting upright in bed to satisfy my brain’s requests 200 times a night is worth it to see how excited the kids are this time of year.  There is something so magical about their belief in Santa Claus that recharges me each morning, allowing me to make it to the end of each day with left over energy for my “click, scribble scribble, click” dance. 

This year I’ve added a whole new reason to bolt out of bed at 2 AM…..The Elf on the Shelf.  Could it be that some of you have not heard of The Elf on the Shelf?  Well pull up an ice block and lend an ear (now if THAT sounds familiar it’s because it’s a direct quote from the Snowman narrator of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer which, along with Home Alone and Jim Carey’s The Grinch That Stole Christmas, are being played continuously by the kids these days).  The Elf on the Shelf is a popular new tradition that involves a little elf doll being sent by Santa himself to your house to watch over the behavior of the children in your house (genius!).  The Elf then flies back to the North Pole once the kids have fallen asleep to report to Santa what he observed that day before flying back to your house and re-locating to a new spot for the kids to find when they wake up.  Adorable.  The first thing my kids do when their eyeballs pop open is to go traipsing around the house searching for Ernest, as we have fondly named him.  Problem:  The exhausted, scatter-brained parents have to remember to hide the Elf each night from Thanksgiving to Christmas (31 nights and 31 new and exciting hiding spots!) hence the 2 AM panic.

                        Brain:  "I know you just got to sleep and all, but did you remember to hide the Elf?"

Me:  Bolt upright, click, scribble……………

Brain:  “I hate to interrupt but what if the kids wake up before you do and go looking for Ernest the Elf only to find him in the same spot as yesterday.”

Me:  “Then I will tell them there was a storm or construction on the way to the North Pole or………………………………..You’re right, you’re right, we should hide him now.” 

“Babe, wake up!”

My husband:  “Huh, what, what is it?”

Me:  “We forgot to hide Ernest.”

My husband:  “Who the hell is Ernest?!”

Me:  “Ernest the Elf!”

My husband:  He knows it’s a losing battle so he stumbles off downstairs to hide

the elf.

And when the kids wake up they squeal with delight to see Ernest hanging upside down in the shower (this one really freaked my husband out too), or acting as our tree topper or laying in the candy bowl with empty wrappers and chocolate on his face (my favorite!)

And it makes our late night charades all worth it!  Unfortunately our creative juices are starting to run dry.  Here’s how you can help.  Post a comment to this blog with your idea of where we can hide Ernest the Elf or what we can stage him doing and you will be entered in a drawing for a chance to win a 6 week Prenatal or Postnatal Pilates session in Naperville (a $130 value).  These make great last minute Christmas gifts or stocking stuffers.  New classes start the first week of January so visit www.pilatesbycarrie.com for more information.  I will email the winner this weekend and mail it out ASAP so you will have it in time for Christmas!

BTW, the winner of last week’s drawing for the Nose Frida (I have used mine all week and it is pretty amazing!) is……………..Amy C!  Amy I will send you an email in case there's more than one Amy C and Merry early Christmas to you!  It will be mailed off to you tomorrow!