Happy New Year!

You know you're old when your kids outlast you on New Year's Eve (and your oldest is 5 years old)!!!
Many blessings to you in 2012!



The Day After Christmas

It’s the day after Christmas and 93.9 the “Holiday” Lite is now just Lite FM and I’m kinda sad about it.

It’s the day after Christmas and my house is a wreck.  We were gone from 11 AM until 9 PM on Christmas day and the living room floor is barely visible beneath the half-opened toys, and remnants of wrapping paper, and empty cardboard boxes. 

It’s the day after Christmas and I would LOVE to pay someone, anyone, to spend the day at my house putting together all the Christmas toys.  Nowadays you need an engineering degree from Stanford just to disassemble toys from their packages.  First you need some garden shears or meat cleavers to cut through the plastic, then there’s those metal twist-ties or the plastic turny things to free the toy.  Half the toys require assembly or batteries or another step before they’re even ready to be played with and by then the toddler has already lost interest and is shoving another toy in your face to put together.  We already visited the local ACE Hardware for a toy that was mysteriously missing all 17 screws.  Have you ever been to the screw aisle?  There are a million choices.  Flat head or round head, Phillips or straight, wood screws or metal screws, ¼ inch or 5 and 3/8 inch.  I was hoping to find a screw that was labeled Missing Screw for the Rapunzel Magical Talking Vanity but no luck.

It’s the day after Christmas but it’s also the day before my oldest son turns 5 years old.  After work I raced off to Party City for a bouquet of Scooby Doo balloons and then directly to Toys R Us before they closed to exchange one of the birthday presents I bought him that he received as a gift from someone else at yesterday’s Christmas party.  I always get sentimental around the kid’s birthdays.  I imagine what I was doing at this exact moment 5 years ago.  I was watching a movie with my husband as I timed my contractions that were exactly 7 minutes apart.  The house was quiet.  There was no mess from Christmas packages torn open in excitement (after all it was just my husband and I).  There were no toys to put together or directions and manuals to read.  There were no trips to the store for screws or batteries.  There were no squeals of delight when you switched the toy to “on” and the Magical Talking Vanity lit up and started talking to you.  There were no looks of amazement as a child learned that the garbage truck he had been playing with all morning actually had a lever that lifted a motorized arm to dump the wadded up toilet paper he had been using for trash right into the back of the truck!!!

It’s the day after Christmas and I’m counting my blessings.

P.S. Congratulations Amy R on winning the 6 week Pilates class (rest assured she received her gift certificate last week)!  New Prenatal and Postnatal classes are starting January 7^th.  Visit www.pilatesbycarrie.com for more information.

The Elf on the Shelf

I have trouble sleeping which is odd considering I spend a large portion of my day trying to stay awake despite my exhaustion.  When my head hits the pillow at night it’s like a signal for my brain to start spitting out all the “To Dos” that have built up throughout the day and thus begins my bedtime “dance.”

            Brain:  “Don’t forget you used the last of the Desitin and Gabe’s diaper rash is

            looking pretty angry.”

               

Me:  Covers off, bolt upright, click goes the bedside lamp being turned on, scribble

scribble goes my pen over a post-it note, click goes the lamp off, lay down, covers

back up.

Brain:  “Remember to schedule the kids’ doctor check-ups.”

Me:  “Put a cork in it, Brain.”

Brain:  “The last time you waited until the last second, you got stuck with the

appointment slot right before lunch when the doctor was way behind schedule

and the kids were STARVING………

Me:  Sigh. Covers off, click, scribble scribble, click, covers on.

Brain:  “And you’re all out of birth control pills…………..”

Me:  “Hey, I am TRYING to sleep here!”

Brain:  I just wanted to remind you about that article you read stating the cost of

raising a child from birth to 18 is $250,000.  Now multiply that by the 3 kids you already have and that’s $750,000.  NOW add in a surprise baby and that would bring the total to ONE MILLIION DOLLARS!”

Me:  “I’m up, I’m UP!!!!”  Covers off, click, scribble scribble, click, covers on.

My husband (exact quote):  “Will you turn your brain off!  I’m trying to sleep over here.”

And with  Christmas fast approaching coupled with my oldest son’s 5^th birthday two days later, my brain is working in overdrive with last minute gift ideas, and birthday prep, and Santa visits, and extra baking for parties, etc, etc, etc.  But to be honest, bolting upright in bed to satisfy my brain’s requests 200 times a night is worth it to see how excited the kids are this time of year.  There is something so magical about their belief in Santa Claus that recharges me each morning, allowing me to make it to the end of each day with left over energy for my “click, scribble scribble, click” dance. 

This year I’ve added a whole new reason to bolt out of bed at 2 AM…..The Elf on the Shelf.  Could it be that some of you have not heard of The Elf on the Shelf?  Well pull up an ice block and lend an ear (now if THAT sounds familiar it’s because it’s a direct quote from the Snowman narrator of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer which, along with Home Alone and Jim Carey’s The Grinch That Stole Christmas, are being played continuously by the kids these days).  The Elf on the Shelf is a popular new tradition that involves a little elf doll being sent by Santa himself to your house to watch over the behavior of the children in your house (genius!).  The Elf then flies back to the North Pole once the kids have fallen asleep to report to Santa what he observed that day before flying back to your house and re-locating to a new spot for the kids to find when they wake up.  Adorable.  The first thing my kids do when their eyeballs pop open is to go traipsing around the house searching for Ernest, as we have fondly named him.  Problem:  The exhausted, scatter-brained parents have to remember to hide the Elf each night from Thanksgiving to Christmas (31 nights and 31 new and exciting hiding spots!) hence the 2 AM panic.

                        Brain:  "I know you just got to sleep and all, but did you remember to hide the Elf?"

Me:  Bolt upright, click, scribble……………

Brain:  “I hate to interrupt but what if the kids wake up before you do and go looking for Ernest the Elf only to find him in the same spot as yesterday.”

Me:  “Then I will tell them there was a storm or construction on the way to the North Pole or………………………………..You’re right, you’re right, we should hide him now.” 

“Babe, wake up!”

My husband:  “Huh, what, what is it?”

Me:  “We forgot to hide Ernest.”

My husband:  “Who the hell is Ernest?!”

Me:  “Ernest the Elf!”

My husband:  He knows it’s a losing battle so he stumbles off downstairs to hide

the elf.

And when the kids wake up they squeal with delight to see Ernest hanging upside down in the shower (this one really freaked my husband out too), or acting as our tree topper or laying in the candy bowl with empty wrappers and chocolate on his face (my favorite!)

And it makes our late night charades all worth it!  Unfortunately our creative juices are starting to run dry.  Here’s how you can help.  Post a comment to this blog with your idea of where we can hide Ernest the Elf or what we can stage him doing and you will be entered in a drawing for a chance to win a 6 week Prenatal or Postnatal Pilates session in Naperville (a $130 value).  These make great last minute Christmas gifts or stocking stuffers.  New classes start the first week of January so visit www.pilatesbycarrie.com for more information.  I will email the winner this weekend and mail it out ASAP so you will have it in time for Christmas!

BTW, the winner of last week’s drawing for the Nose Frida (I have used mine all week and it is pretty amazing!) is……………..Amy C!  Amy I will send you an email in case there's more than one Amy C and Merry early Christmas to you!  It will be mailed off to you tomorrow!

Coupon Crazy!

I am a sucker for a good deal.  Combine that with my LOVE for early Christmas shopping and you have the recipe for disaster.  I get the “bug” in mid-October (probably because the stores start slowly infiltrating their aisles with Christmas teasers).  Several months ago while I was picking up a few last minute Halloween costume accessories at Target, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, an aisle way at the end of the store that was loaded with garland, and tinsel, Christmas lights and ornaments.  The Rudolph lawn ornament seemed to taunt me:  “Come on, Carrie, just wander down my aisle for a minute….I Double Dog Dare You!”  Stay focused.  I need ears for Madelyn’s Cat Burglar costume and a new set of handcuffs for Tyler’s Police Man ensemble now STAY OUT OF THE CHRISTMAS AISLE FOR GOD’S SAKE IT’S OCTOBER!!!!!!! 

Too late, my mind was already forming a mental Christmas list of what I would be buying for the kids, for the family grab bag, for my husband, for the kids’ teachers, for the babysitter….. Would I still give the garbage man (or is waste management employee more PC these days?) his parochial $20 for always waving to the kids and raising the garbage thingy to fling the bags into the back of the truck right in front of our house followed by squeals of delight from my children (I’ve done the math and it equates to about  40 cents per episode which is well worth it!)  The point is, this mental Christmas list quickly materializes into a handwritten list  

and then over the next several weeks as the toy catalogs start arriving in the mail, I start filling in the blanks with all the kids’ “wants.”  Then every Sunday I meticulously analyze the sale papers in the Sunday tribune cutting out coupons and storing them in a very organized………..large plastic Ziploc.  

I agonize over the ads boasting “Our Lowest Price of the Season!”  Is it really?  Last year I bought the kids a large dollhouse from ToysRUs with a coupon for $10 off.  I patted myself on the back for my savings as I waited in the pick-up zone for at least 15 minutes for someone to wheel this monstrosity out to my car and hoist it into the trunk of my SUV.  From there I then unload it at home into the corner of the garage covered with blankets and threats to the kids to STAY AWAY!  Two weeks later the same dollhouse is part of a ToysRUs Doorbuster deal for 20% off which is a far greater savings than my $10 off coupon was causing me to curse toy companies and big box stores and marketing people who probably sit around some large conference table planning out the next way to dupe the coupon-conscious early Christmas shoppers like myself.  Then I get a grip, calmly load the kids in the car with my receipt that I almost cannot find at the bottom of my Ziploc bag of coupons, and proceed to the customer service desk where I attempt to politely demand a price adjustment before I go “Christmas Crazy”.

 This year I decided to get all three kids a large kitchen set.  Once again I stalked the sale ads and the Rewards Member coupons before settling on a perfect plan.  I would do all my toy shopping at ToysRUs (will I ever learn?) because I will receive a $10 gift card for every $75 dollars spent.  I had at least $150 of purchases meaning I could use the $20 gift cards towards the purchase of the kitchen.  Done.  I drop the kids off for an hour with my daycare provider because if you think I am bringing 3 kids into ToysRUS, now YOU’VE gone Christmas Crazy.  I immediately turn the dial to 93.9 since LITE FM started playing Christmas music in April, sip my 2500 calorie Peppermint Mocha with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles and speed off to Toys R US.  Once there I quickly find all the toy items on my list (NOT) and wait patiently in line (NOT) only to learn that the $20 in gift cards I just earned cannot be used until SIX hours after they’ve been activated!  On my way out of the store, disgruntled and defeated, I bump into a former patient who hands me a 20% off coupon she cannot use on her item (GO FIGURE!)  Hooray for me!  Even better savings than my $20 gift card.  With the Christmas Crazy replaced by newly found Christmas spirit, I proceed back into line with the ticket for my kitchen set only to learn that the 20% off coupon is a special deal that doesn’t start until 3:00 and it is only 2:30.  Seriously, they make me wait.  I stall and then at 3:00 on the dot I present my coupon.  They ring up my item but the coupon won’t work.  Apparently it is only for the doorbuster items that were listed on the front of the ad that I didn’t have because the coupon was handed to me by my well-meaning former patient.  My $20 savings in gift cards doesn’t cover my gas, daycare and Starbuck’s expenses.  I lost money.  Sucker for a good deal or just a sucker?  Please don’t answer that. 

In hopes of replenishing my Christmas spirit I’ve decided to give one of you a present!  The last class of all my Postnatal Pilates sessions is a spoof on Oprah’s Favorite Things show called Postnatal Pilates Moms’ Favorite Things.  All the women bring in or discuss a few of their favorite baby items.  I have selected one of their items to be given away FREE (there is no fine print, coupon needed, or any chance to find it for a lower price later in the season!) to one of my blog subscribers.  The item I selected is………The Nose Frida! 

I was skeptical at first (see my July 30, 2011 blog entry) but Cindy made me a believer so I purchased one for my baby and one to give away.  If you don’t have a baby maybe you could try it on your spouse, friends, or simply re-gift it to someone on your Christmas list………tis the season!

P.S. I will also be giving away one free 6 week Pilates class in an upcoming blog to all those who comment.  These make great Christmas gifts and can be purchased at the Women Serving Women Physical Therapy clinic by calling 630-527-0485.  Stay tuned!