On The Floor

Jennifer Lopez is getting a lot of press these days with the divorce and all.  It got me thinking about her hit song On the Floor.  I mean, here is a woman who is 42 years old and the mother of 3 year old twins singing about breaking a sweat on the dance floor as she drinks a little more.  Really???  Is this what other mothers  in their 40’s are doing right now?  I think not.  I decided to re-write the lyrics.  My song will still be called On the Floor but it will be referring to the location most of us normal mothers are at risk of collapsing at any moment.
(If the formatting below looks funny visit my actual blog at http://pilatesbycarrie.blogspot.com/)

J LO’s Lyrics                                                             Carrie’s Lyrics 

It’s a new generation                                              It’s a new generation

Of party people                                                       Of Moms and Dads

Let me introduce you to my party people         Let me introduce you to my 3 darling children

In the club…………                                                    Under five……………

If you go hard you gotta get on the floor               If you spill milk you gotta clean up the floor

If you’re a party freak then step on the floor        To be excused you gotta eat a little more

If you’re an animal then tear up the floor             Before you play you gotta do all your chores

Break a sweat on the floor                                    Test me, I’m out the door

Yeah we work on the floor                                     Yeah I’ll walk out that door

Don’t stop keep it moving                                     Non-stop always moving

Put your drinks up                                                  Put your shoes on

Pick your body up and drop it on the floor        Pick your toys up, put em back where they go

Let the rhythm change your world on the floor    Better go pee now or you’ll pee on the floor

You know we’re running sh*t                             We're running late march your
tonight on the floor                                              butts out the door

Brazil, Morocco                                                      Playground, storytime,

London to Ibiza                                                       Preschool to Playdates

Straight to LA, New York                                        Straight to the pool, the doctor

Vegas to Africa                                                      Drive thru to McDonalds

Dance the night away                                           Blink the night is gone

Live your life and stay young on the floor            Wake up, step on a toy left on the floor

Dance the night away                                           Blink the day is gone

Grab somebody drink a little more                  Start the baths, read a book and shut the door

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala                                    Wah,wah,wah,wah,wah,wah,wah,wah,wah

Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor                         Tonight you better stay in your beds!

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala                              Wah,wah,wah,wah,wah,wah,wah,
Tonight we gon' be it on the floor           I'm begging you to STAY IN YOUR BEDS!

I know you got it clap your hands on the floor     Baby’s crying, wants to nurse a little more

And keep rockin, rock it up on the floor                He rocked a deuce, now it leaked on the floor

If you’re a criminal kill it on the floor                    I burped him and he spit up on the floor

Steal it quick on the floor, on the floor                  So much crap on this floor, on this floor

Don’t stop keep it moving                                      Non-stop always moving

Put your drinks up                                                   Wash your hands please

It’s getting ill it’s getting sick on the floor             Or you’ll get ill, you’ll get sick on the floor

We never quit, we never rest on the floor      We get no sleep, never rest when you’re sick

If I ain’t wrong we’ll probably die on the floor       If I ain’t wrong you’ll all three give it to me

Brazil, Morocco                                                       Boogers, and vomit

London to Ibiza                                                        Strep throat to a fever

Straight to LA, New York                                         All from a bug, a germ

Vegas to Africa                                                        A tiny amoeba

Dance the night away                                             Blink the night is gone

Live your life and stay young on the floor              Coffee pot I love you evermore

Dance the night away                                             Blink the day is gone

Grab somebody drink a little more                         Think I’ll join J LO to drink a little more

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala                                      Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor                           On second thought I think I’ll hit that floor

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala                                       Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Tonight we gon’ be it on the floor      Come on honey we gon’ be it on the floor!         

P.S. Congratulations Jaime!  You are the winner of the super cute bracelet (FYI:  I use the online site random.org to select the winners in a totally fair manner).  Jaime's "New Use For An Old Thing" is to use the Bounce dryer sheets as a dust rag to quickly wipe off the dust bunnies on her bedroom furniture.  Clever!  I will make sure you get your prize ASAP!

P.P.S.  My Prenatal Pilates class is full but there is a waiting list.  There are 3 spots left in the Postnatal Pilates class due to start Aug 20th.  Visit http://www.pilatesbycarrie.com/ for more info!