Cliffs Notes

While I was still pregnant with my third child I had a play date with my friends Tina (who has 3 kids) and Bethany (who has 2 kids).  We met at Tina’s for lunch and I was home for the kids’ naps by 2:00.  Later that night my husband asked me what was new with the girls and I was stumped.  I had just spent over 2 hours with my girlfriends and I didn’t have a single factoid, shred of gossip, or nugget of news to share with him.  How could that be???  Of course it was because there was next to no time between serving lunch, begging the kids to eat lunch, cleaning up after lunch, changing diapers, disciplining, and starting the dreaded 15 minute countdown until it was time to leave (which always takes about 25-30 minutes) to actually re-connect with each other.  I joke that when you become a mother, and especially when your kids become busy toddlers, you must only tell the “cliffs notes” version of stories because of all the potential interruptions.  Below is the same story told first by a woman prior to having children and second by a hypothetical woman who is pregnant and has 2 toddlers.

Woman B.C. (Before Children): 

So I was at the gym the other day.  Was it Saturday or Sunday?  No it must have been Saturday because I slept in on Sunday.  Anyways, that creepy guy was there again.  He was wearing the shortest gym shorts I’ve ever seen.  He was on the Treadmill and I was doing some free weights.  No wait, I had a really good view of him in the mirror so I must have been at the lat pull down station.  I see him checking out this girl that was young enough to be his daughter.  She was wearing one of those super tight halters with her fake boobs and is basically just parading around the gym not breaking a sweat.  In fact, I don’t remember seeing her do one single exercise.  Next thing you know he gets tripped up and goes flying off the back end of the treadmill.  Serves him right!

Woman with 2 toddlers:

So ("Shhh, Mommy’s talking") I was at the gym ("Tyler don’t swing that bat in the house!”) and that creepy guy (“Madelyn Rose do NOT push her!”) was checking out some big-boobed bimbo (“You guys KNOCK IT OFF!”) and he(“Onto the stairs for a time out RIGHT NOW young lady!”).  Anyways, as I was saying he was checking out (“Do NOT use that tone of voice with me or we’ll go straight home for naps”), he was checking out (“Tyler don’t antagonize your sister when she is in time out!”).  What was I saying?  Oh just forget it.