Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned From My Messy House

I open my make-up drawer to apply a disguise over my desperately -lacking- sleep face only to discover an open, half finished dum dum that had been abandoned by my daughter (I’m guessing) once she became distracted by my lipstick and mascara and eye shadows.  Next I scoot over to my jewelry organizer but the necklace that matched today’s outfit was tangled up with 3 pairs of earrings and a plastic rosary I got for my First Communion that I couldn’t bear to part with.  Skip it. 

Down in the kitchen I attempt to make tonight’s dinner and realize for the hundredth time that the spice rack I received from our wedding registry almost 10 years ago is simply taking up space (who uses Marjoram anyway?) so into the garbage it goes.  Now to make the kids’ lunches for daycare, so my head and most of my upper half disappear into the Tupperware cabinet while I search for a matching lid. 

Where do these lids go?!  I picture them meeting up with the missing socks from the laundry at a singles bar where they laugh themselves silly at the poor humans unsuccessfully trying to find their counterparts.  My house is messy.  Not filthy, not hoarder-style, but messy.  So I slowly tackle one project at a time.  I’m embarrassed to admit that most of my make-up was purchased at a girls’ night out trip almost one year ago.  I have flashbacks from an Oprah episode I watched once where a microscope revealed tiny micro-organisms living in people’s old mascaras and what not.  I dumped it all in the garbage (including the dum dum).  I should preface that statement by saying that my make-up can all be bought at Walgreens (not the Mac counter at Macy’s).  Underneath my make-up tray I find an old post-it from my husband reminding me that he loves me (he hid a few of these around the house a few years back when he left for a week long fishing trip to Canada).  Who cares about a messy make-up drawer when you are lucky enough to have a husband who REALLY loves you (whether you’re wearing make-up or not!) 

On to the jewelry box.  Surprisingly this project took less than an hour and deep in the drawers I found my 6 week ultrasound from Madelyn, my second-born.  It was probably her tiny fingers that tangled most of my jewelry up anyway but what a miracle it is to realize that this tiny “blip” on the ultrasound is now a tumbling toddler with a feisty personality and a passion for make-up and jewelry and shoes! 

My next step is the kitchen trash where I sadly gaze at the glass jars from the spices and the empty lazy-Susan spinning spice rack.  A light bulb goes off in my brain (it’s a 60 watt bulb but at least there are some synapses firing up there still!)  I wash each glass jar and lid and scrub any remnants of the trash off of the rack.  Then I fill each jar with a craft supply: some get filled with sticky eyeballs, others with pom pons and foam stickers, and still others with glitter and voila, my very own project organizer. 

And that’s when I realize that sometimes, things just need to be re-invented.  Like the women or men who move from the working world to the stay-at-home world when their children are born.  Or the stay-at-home moms and dads who must return to work to help financially support their families.  Or the empty-nesters who no longer have their children to define them.  Their “old” lives don’t need to be thrown away, just dusted off and visualized with a new spin.  My house may not be as clean as it was before I had 3 children, or 2 dogs, or this job, or my Pilates business but now the mess says to me, “Yes you are busy but you value time spent with your loved ones more than a dust-free, clutter-free abode.”  You may be wondering what lesson I learned from the Tupperware cabinet.  Nothing….I hate that cabinet and so I will wave the white flag and submit to the realization that it will always be messy no matter how many times I re-organize it!

P.S. I have 2 spots left in my next Prenatal Pilates class in Naperville starting Saturday, April 14^th from 9-10:30 AM.  I also have several spots left in my new Hinsdale Prenatal Pilates class.  If you or someone you know may be interested, please check out the respective websites (www.pilatesbycarrie.com and www.prenataluniversity.com )

P.P.S.  I have a few spaces left in my next Postnatal Pilates class starting Monday, April 16^th from 7:30-9 PM.  Visit www.pilatesbycarrie.com for more info.

These classes make unique Baby Shower gifts and Mother’s Day gift ideas!!!

Computer Dating with my 5 Year Old (it's not what it sounds like!)

My 5 year old, Tyler, asked to go on a date with me this weekend.  I could tell he was craving some one-on-one time with Mom.  “Of course,” I replied as I walked away from him in the family room and into the laundry room.  “What do you want to do?”  I yelled out to him as I loaded the clothes from the overstuffed washer into the dryer, threw in a few bounce sheets and slammed the door.  I heard his voice, muffled by the dryer, but couldn’t make out the words as I started the washer for another load of Sunday laundry.  I re-appeared in the family room where at least 4 more piles of dirty laundry were waiting to be thrown in before deciding on the whites—might as well get the annoying sock matching out of the way early on.  “We could go to the movies,” I offered, “Or hit the train table at Barnes and Noble?”  Just then my cell phone beeped letting me know I had a text message.  I dropped the pile of dirty clothes and went up into the kitchen to check my messages.  Tyler was muttering something but in all honesty I had tuned him out while my thumbs returned the text from my sister.  “What was that, buddy?”  I replied only half listening.  “I was thinking,” he said, “that you could just watch me play some games on the computer and then I could tell you some stories.”  Screech.  I stopped in my tracks.  He wasn’t just craving time with me, he was craving time with me without distractions. 

It was like a slap on the wrist for me.  I did a quick mental inventory of my time with my children.  I did fun things with them.  I did art projects with Maddy, or at least I worked on them for a few minutes until she was involved enough with her own project that I could sneak away to unload the dishwasher and prepare dinner while occasionally exclaiming over her shoulder, “Wow, Maddy, you’re really staying in the lines,” or “That princess with the green hair is just beautiful.”  I tickle Gabe while I dust the living room and play hide and seek with him….well I disappear from room to room picking up toys while he crawls to “seek” me.  Doesn’t this count?  I play board games with Tyler while stealing glances at my email messages and returning texts without missing a beat, “Darnit, I lost again!” 

But Tyler’s comment made me realize that I wasn’t fooling him.  He knew I was only giving him part of my attention most of the time.  Isn’t that what multi-tasking is all about, though?  Isn’t it a basic survival skill as a working mother of three children?  Sure I could give my undivided attention to my kids all day long but we would never eat, we would all be wearing dirty clothes, my husband would divorce me and the house would fall down around us.  Or I could prepare nothing but gourmet, organic dishes at every meal but I would never have time to do all the dishes from those meals, we would still be wearing dirty clothes, my husband would still divorce me and the house would still fall down around us.  See what I mean?  But Tyler’s request made me realize that I could afford to “unplug” for at least an hour. 

So when my husband took Maddy and Gabe food shopping earlier today (Hands off, Ladies!  He’s all mine!) I turned off my cell phone and the TV as Tyler guided me to the dining room where he had positioned a chair right next to his at the laptop.  I glanced at the time in the lower right corner of the screen…12:45 PM.  As Cartoon Network was loading I glanced into the kitchen and noticed the dishwasher was only half emptied and it took all the restraint in my body not to excuse myself with promises that “I’ll be right back,” while I made good use of the slow internet loading time to finish the dishes.  Instead, Tyler filled the silence with explanations of his favorite games which included Level Up, Project Exonaut, and Looney Tunes complete with hand gestures and sound effects (I swear little boys are born with a whole arsenal of useful gun noises and explosion imitations).  Finally the game loaded, it was 12:48 but whose keeping track?  Over the next several minutes I watched him select his warrior and weapon before killing a dozen crazy monkeys.  My mind wandered from the list of things I needed to accomplish today to how to find ratings online about the Cartoon Network games that were appropriate for 5 year olds but by 12:51 I had accepted the fact that I was going to be sitting there for a long time.  I asked Tyler how he learned to play these games and was amazed to watch his fingers working the keys and space bar and mouse with such agility.  I cheered when he blew up the bad guys and high-fived him when his rocket launcher connected with an evil-looking monster (is this appropriate?)  I did not check my email, or text, or cook, or do laundry.  And when the screen went blank while he was loading a new game, I saw his reflection in the laptop.  His eyes were sparkly with excitement and his face was plastered with a beaming ear-to-ear, toothy grin!  I’d be willing to give up a clean house and good food any day for a lifetime of those smiles.

P.S. Congratulations Kelly D, you are the winner of the Mommy Hook! 

You'll be totally hooked on this stroller hanger. Or, at least, all your crucial items will be! Built to last, lightweight and versatile, this hanger fits virtually all stroller handles, is made from durable, heavy-duty aluminum, and has a rubber grip to keep it from sliding. The Mommy Hook® can be used on a stroller or shopping cart to hold diaper bags, shopping bags, camera bags, groceries, toys, purses, clothes, and much more. Plus, there's a baby hook for smaller items.  Can also be used to carry multiple bags in from the trunk of your car (watch your body mechanics, girls!) or to have your toddler hold on to in busy parking lots.   

P.P.S.  If you would like to be entered into future drawings don't forget to subscribe to this blog!  Every so often I use the site random.org to randomly select a number that corresponds with each subscriber.

P.P.P.S. If you know anyone who may be interested in taking my next Prenatal or Postnatal Pilates class please refer them to my website at http://www.pilatesbycarrie.com/.  I am now teaching in Hinsdale, IL as well an that class schedule can be viewed at http://www.prenataluniveristy.com/.  Thanks!